Writings

My second blog entry in as many days. Didn't see that coming, I must admit, but there is a very good reason for the sudden desire to throw my thoughts out into the void once more.

I started writing my short story today.

I know, I know ... shock! gasp! can it be? Everyone stop what they're doing, Frank is writing again! All joking aside, it's a big deal for me. Half the time I rarely make it past the second page without losing interest in what it is I was writing about. Most of that was due to a lack of planning and not really having a clear definition of the kind of story that I wanted to tell, or how best to tell it. They always end up abandoned and cast aside for the literary vultures to feast upon.

Today was different. I had a plan. I knew the characters (as far as one can know them before putting pen to paper, anyhow), the themes and all the other intricate details that I would need to breathe life into this new creative undertaking. It was all there, in a small notepad, within easy reach.

So, it begins at last...

I sat down at my desk, pen and pad before me...

I opened to the first page, a blank page...

And then I realised that the notebook I'd got some weeks prior was faulty, and by faulty I mean the pages were upside down and back to front, the margins were also upside down, the bookmark was on the wrong part of the book, the elastic thing that keeps it closed was on the front rather than the back (which just looks odd from an aesthetic point of view) and pretty much everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Hardly a good omen for my first day of writing. How, I hear you ask with mild disdain, is it possible to come across a supposed faulty notebook if all it consists of is lines? Very easily, it would seem.

Thankfully I had a spare empty notepad. Perfect. Nothing would prevent me from immersing myself in the creative endeavour that has hounded my thoughts this past week or so.

I sat down and opened to the correct page. I lifted my pen...

You know what would go well with writing? A cup of coffee. I'd already had a nap to refresh my otherwise flagging senses, so why not some caffeine? I got up, wandered downstairs and helped myself.

Fine, fine. Third time's the charm. I sat down for an hour or so, initially umming and erring and tapping my pen against the table while attempting to conjure up a suitable name for my lead character (I hesitate to call him a protagonist, for reasons that will become abundantly clear one day). But no sooner had I happened upon a name I sat down and wrote, wrote some more and continued to write until I could write no longer.

So here I stand. Or sit, as truth would have it. I have made a small bit of progress into the opening scene that I had painstakingly planned yesterday evening. What are my thoughts on it all so far? Though still early days, once again I am stumbling upon the same nagging sensation I often suffer upon writing the first draft of any story. What I put on the page never seems to reflect the mood, the atmosphere or the general image I have in my imagination of what the story should be like. It's superficial and lacks the subtle nuances and depth that I had hoped to get across. I can't comment on my characters yet as they've only made a brief appearance so far, but the prose itself feels a little forced, a little unnatural, as if I am subconsciously saying "You know this will probably be scrapped and rewritten in the second draft. It better be. Stop using so many adverbs. Adverbs are not your friend."

I am still confident, however. Even more so than when I started, as hard as that is to believe. Perhaps the plan is what is keeping me focused, knowing that I have a faint blueprint to work to. Also, I'm learning to be patient, and to not beat myself up about the fact that this is only a first draft. This is raw, unrefined prose without the polish or the very detail that will make the project into the thing that I always imagined it could be. For now, I'm going to get the story down any way I can and worry about the corrections in the later drafts.

So far, it just feels good to be writing again.